Section 31

Section 31, the "off the books" Black Ops offshoot of Starfleet is in the process of trying to intercept a black market arms sale of a rumoured superweapon. The deal is taking place in the domain of former Terran Emperor and all-round born-to-be-bad-girl Phillipa Georgiou (Michelle Yeoh) and when it's clear they can't outplay her they instead attempt to recruit her.

No good will come of this.

CW: offensive accents of the most vile kind

Oh dear sweet lord, what were they thinking when they loosed this upon the world.

I have seen outrage from Trek circles that I assumed was born of snootiness about setting canon, tone, the moral repugnance of making actual genocidal Space Hitler who never really paid for her crimes the protagonist and so on but that would bother me not one jot if this was decent.

It is not. Very rarely do I consider switching a movie off but I got close.

On paper somebody will have pitched "Trek, but edgy and sexy. Mission: Impossible but also Guardians of the Galaxy".

It is none of these things.

Quite literally so bad it's bad and should have never been released, forever to languish in some corporate vault like the potentially decent movies and TV shows scandalously memory-holed in recent years because to do so was tax efficient.

I feel stupider for having watched it to completion. Do not touch with the shittiest of sticks, 0/10. A sucking chest wound to creative endeavour inflicted in the name of cynical content mill commerce.