Unexpectedly there's a knock at the door and a young woman asks "Is Tamara home?". Slightly nonplussed by this James sends her away then drives off to fetch some cigarettes for Kristen.
No good will come of this.
CW: violence and jump scares
The Strangers
Blue Thunder
The programme is very much a military one and the military test pilot F.E. Cochrane (Malcolm McDowell) is somebody Murphy served with in Vietnam and has an intense dislike of.
Getting caught up in the tech they've been handed to evaluate Murphy and Lymangood decide to "poke around" and use it to surveil Cochrane.
No good will come of this.
CW: 80s copaganda, objectification of women and a bit of racist stereotyping/language
Imaginary
In the basement her stepdaughter Alice (Pyper Braun) finds an old Teddy Bear and christens it Chauncey.
No good will come of this.
Fallen
In his last few minutes Reese mocks those around him and launches into a rendition of "Time is on my side" before expiring.
Soon afterwards people start dying in ways uncannily similar to Reese's victims so Hobbes starts digging into the footage from the documentary in case something from that might reveal clues to who his accomplice/copycat is.
No good will come of this.
V/H/S/2
Again this one's a mixed bag of shakycam dross only really livened up by Timo Tjahjanto's "Safe Haven" where a group of journalists go to the compound run by a cult intending to confront them but end up experiencing the great day the cult have been waiting for.
Even this segment massively outstays its welcome when general creepiness gives way to absolute mayhem that as much it's bloodily inventive just goes on too long.
Loud, irritating trash 4/10.
The Empty Man
No good will come of this.
CW: jump scares, suicide
The Beekeeper
Meanwhile Eloise's daughter Verona (Emmy Raver-Lampman), an FBI agent, begins looking into things too and realises the person responsible for the carnage is most likely her mother's tenant.
No good will come of this
CW: brutal violence, injury detail, suicide, all the big swears
Horizon: An American Saga - Part 1
V/H/S Viral
However the linking stuff is a kind of nonsensical Police chase with an ice cream truck that also causes "viral violence" or something harking back to the cursed footage ideas we've had before but it's just laboured beyond belief.
Then there's the SK8R Boys one which is just trash, where did this idea even come from it's like it was created because the director knew people who could skateboard.
Not great 5/10.
V/H/S 99
Best of the bunch: "Ozzy's Dungeon" about a kids' TV show, one of those ones involving "gunge", which almost nobody ever wins so they can avoid giving away the prize.
Overall a solid 6/10 but you'd need to be in the mood for silliness as it's perhaps a bit more humorous than the other instalments, especially the final section: " To Hell and back again".
V/H/S 85
There's only one noticeably weak section: "God of Death" and the links actually work. These are done like a TV documentary that tells of a doomed experiment with a timescale in the weeks/months where sometimes they've simply chopped up a something that could have been one of the main sections.
It's all still quite schlocky horror but the final section "Dreamkill" could almost be an 80s movie in its own right, 8/10 recommended for horror fans.
V/H/S 94
Still saddled with the inherent problems of anthologies at least this time we get four quite distinct sections each that work in their own right and the best of them is Timo Tjahjanto's "The Subject" which is a really filthy evil scientist story.
Again the linking items are weak, unable to sustain much of a story and I'd really prefer it to just present the main sections without this but hey that's an anthology thing and they're going with it. Still only really 6/10 though but at least this isn't all letchy like the first.
V/H/S
I can see what they were trying for but most of the sections were just awful: loud broskis hooting and hollering and letching at women until some slasher movie type violence happens.
Notable for its weirdness is "The sick thing that happened to Emily when she was younger" which I needed to read the synopsis for to actually follow but is again a bit letchy and misogynistic. Least unpleasant is "10/31/99" where a bunch of loud guys (of course) are looking for a Halloween party but end up at something else entirely. The entry from Ti West, "Second Honeymoon", is interesting but far far too long to get to where its going and again very "women are evil".
Don't bother 4/10. Do I bother with any of the others? The shakycam alone is a massive turnoff and I'm usually quite tolerant of it but the whole tone of this was cynically misogynistic.
Eden Lake
Their weekend is disrupted by a crowd of rough teenagers playing loud music and being generally antisocial. Steve decides to confront them about their behaviour.
No good will come of this.
CW: injury detail, torture
Joker
Living in a run down apartment where he cares for his ailing mother one of the bright spots is watching Murray Franklin's (Robert DeNiro) TV talk show with her. Arthur idolises Franklin and dreams of one day making an appearance on it.
No good will come of this.
Terrifier
No good will come of this.
CW: infamously grim and bloody with buckets of gore
V/H/S Beyond
It's a mixed bag. One of the stories is chopped up and used as linking items but when it gets to the end doesn't really go anywhere. The standouts are "Stowaway" where a lone UFO hunting podcaster tracks down and boards an alien ship and "Dream Girl" where Indian paparazzi try to get candid shots of a starlet.
I've not watched one of these before as I'd expected quite low rent straight to streaming horror and that was pretty much what I got. It's hard to rate anthologies fairly but I think overall this comes in at about 5/10. It suffered from some segments having a weak premise but good execution, vice-versa or just not enough time/money spent on it to fully develop.
Still interesting though despite my low overall rating and I might give other instalments a look.
Mean Girls
Completely unprepared for the cliquey teen environment she struggles to make friends and initially befriends the outcasts Janis (Lizzy Caplan) and Damian (Daniel Franzese).
Unexpectedly she is 'noticed' by the school's 'Queen Bee', Regina George (Rachel McAdams) who starts to cultivate her friendship. Janis and Damian warn Cady about how toxic Regina is and the trio decide to use this as an opportunity to take her and the other 'Plastics' down. However to take down a Mean Girl, Cady will have to become one.
No good will come of this.
Lola
Initially they use it to make themselves comfortable through that time traveller's faithful friend: the bookmaker, then begin to explore the art, culture and science yet to come.
Keeping Lola a secret they are unable to actually change anything much beyond their own knowledge, tastes and fortunes. When World War II begins the pair turn to saving lives anonymously, broadcasting as "The Angel of Portobello": warning people of air raids and other calamities in an absolutely prescient manner.
When a young Intelligence officer tracks them down they are persuaded to turn Lola to the war effort.
No good will come of this.
American Gangster
In a moment of sudden inspiration he hits on the idea to use US involvement in the Vietnam war to forge a direct route into the country for heroin. At enormous personal risk he travels there and deals directly with a producer.
This pays off.
Meanwhile, Detective Richie Roberts (Russell Crowe) is put in charge of a task force to tackle the scourge of drugs on the streets.
CW: graphic images of drug abuse
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire
No good will come of this.
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