As he and the other Ranger candidates face their final training scenario, which is to destroy a downed experimental weapon, they find an immensely impressive prop slightly away from the expected location.
Placing their demolition charges they think they've had an unexpectedly easy ride. The only problem is: this isn't their objective.
CW: injury detail, so much jingoistic macho hoora I think I made myself dumber just by watching it
There's a concept amongst keen cyclists of a "bike shaped object": a cheap bicycle that has all the functional aspects needed for something to be considered a bicycle and they all work but it's not made by or for people interested in bicycles. It fills the space a bicycle would fill. I've always considered it an awfully snobbish term, but I'm going to use a variant of it here.
This is not a movie, it's movie shaped content.
Having given myself a working over mentally watching Compliance yesterday I wanted something easy to digest.
This is Huel in movie form.
It has all the functional aspects of a movie but it was made to fill a movie shaped hole in Netflix's roster.
Not any individual bit of it fails to function but it is emblematic of everything that's wrong with the state of straight to streaming productions. It makes "The Grey Man" look colourful.
What an absolute pile of shit.
I mean I like Alan Ritchson and he's just doing his job here, likewise Dennis Quaid and the rest of the cast. No single element is terrible, well apart from the jingoistic tone, but the end result is that sad hamburger you get that looks nothing like the one in the menu picture.
It's not even bad enough to be good bad, it's literally "the blandest thing on the menu".
Fuck me, 1/10 because this could have actually been a movie, not movie shaped content.