Conan the Destroyer

Conan (Arnold Schwarzenegger) has built himself a reputation as "the king of thieves". Sorcerer Queen Taramis (Sarah Douglas) recruits him and sidekick Malak (Tracey Walter) to escort her niece Princess Jehnna (Olivia d'Abo) and her head guard Bombaata (Wilt Chamberlain) to steal a magic gem from the Sorcerer Thoth-Amon (Pat Roach) who dwells in a crystal palace.

In return she promises to resurrect Conan's lost love Valeria.

Needing help fighting magic, Conan also gathers wizard Akiro (Mako), who acts as the narrator. They also free and recruit fierce warrior Zula (Grace Jones) along the way.

This is the Conan movie seen most often on TV, probably because it's a more manageable 100 minutes long. It is by far the inferior of the two.

Arnie's acting has improved somewhat and there's a lot more dialogue while comedy sidekick Malak probably worked at the time but seems tiresome as fuck now. Grace Jones is interestingly feral and everybody else just gets on with it. Olivia d'Abo is the default vestal virgin eye candy but they're not overly creepy in this cut.

There's more fantastic/magical stuff in this one and the rotoscoping and matte paintings let it down somewhat compared to the "fill a mountainside with set & extras" approach of the first film.

Things happen for arbitrary "let Arnie flex and have a fight" reasons far too much. The wizard Thoth-Amon is a bit of a pushover and it has none of the epic feel of the first movie.

Sadly, exactly what I expected 4/10 only worth it for the nostalgia factor.